Ron's Xmas

It was a cold, wet day on the weekend before Xmas. As Dorset was going to be the focus for visitors this year, we’d decided to come up to Oxford this weekend to have an early xmas with Dad.

He had been made ‘posh’ by the care team. One of the staff tells him they love him. She helps me take him down to the car - wheelchair and walker today. I make a note that the next thing to buy and send to him is a new belt; he’s getting a bit thin so his trousers are falling down today! Every time he gets up he needs an adjustment.

Off to the supermarket to get some flowers for Chloe for making the meal today. Also to pick up some biscuits as a present for the staff at the home. We’d already got presents for Barry and Chloe for dad to give - some panettone for Chloe and some beer for Barry.

We’d planned to have a tea and slice of cake out as a treat before arriving since Xmas dinner was going to be late, but the cafe had closed down! The weather has by now turned so cold but also starting to rain. Dad makes frequent mention of it before uttering the immortal “winter draws on” a bit later.

It’s getting harder him getting in and out of the car these days. His carer alluded to this earlier by saying it’s good for him to get out ‘while he still can’. Despite this he’s still full of smiles. We make an attempt to get into another supermarket cafe but it’s the last weekend before Xmas so everywhere is packed. “I think it’s going to be busy everywhere today - how about we head to the crematorium?” I suggest. “I’m easy”, he says, “I’m along for the ride. You decide”.

He’s been rubbing his eye today as it’s been watering a lot, but i tell him not to otherwise he’ll make it worse. He’s also got a runny nose but has a flamboyant hanky which he keeps using. Lucky I’ve got Rachel’s raincoat to throw over his winter coat to keep the rain off a bit.

I’d bought some Cyclamen for mum’s grave which he really liked.

Normally we’d spend 20 mins there with him thinking about mum, but today is just too cold and wet so he says “I’m ready” after just a couple of minutes”. I don’t blame him - it’s just horrid weather and we’re both getting cold.

I check my phone and Rachel is saying dinner will be ready in 15 mins. Great timing!

Back in the car the heater goes on full blast at full heat and it soon gets toasty. Soon we getting out of the car for (thankfully) the last time. Barry had moved his car so I was able to park right outside the house.

We switch to the walker but the step up into the house feels huge and it takes a bit of time to mount it. Barry and Chloe are very welcoming but haven’t cottoned on to how hard of hearing he is. Having said that, he’s a lot better hearing than the last time we saw him (thanks to a new batch of hearing aid batteries sent to the home)

Dad says “have I been here before?”, forgetting the many Xmas meals we’ve had here previously. Rachel is soon there with a cold Guinness for him. He takes a sip but realty struggles to swallow it. It’s just too cold for him at the moment, so Barry wraps it in a warm towel to have later.

Dad tries to remember when he’d been here before. “I remember a fox going past the window” he says, but then isn’t sure if that’s here. “It doesn’t really feel like Xmas”, he says. “My mind is a bit all over the place”. He finds it hard to remember things nowadays. Barry asks him about if he’s been watching the world cup, but he can’t really remember. We then work out the final game is on in just over an hour. He gets quite excited about that.

Xmas dinner, like any eating event, is taken seriously, despite the felt hats Rachel has made.

He’s still having a bit of trouble swallowing but a glass of water sorts him out. He eats smaller portions these days and eats slowly, but his plate is clear when he’s done. Does he want Xmas pudding? You better believe he does!

After dinner it’s time to give out his presents. They go down well with our hosts.

Next we give him ours, and it’s like he’s been given the crown jewels (a jumper, some biscuits and Turkish delight).

He’s sorry that he hasn’t bought is anything but he ‘doesn’t have money’. I tell him that I’m looking after it all for him, and have placed it all on the favourite on the next horse race. He laughs. Then I suggest Rachel and I go out for a meal and he pays for it as an xmas present, and he loves that, giving me a big hug around the head.

At half time I ask him what he thinks of the match. “I’ve not really been taking it in - what’s the score?”. He’s a bit distracted by the xmas tree which he thinks is beautiful.

It’s a fabulous match, and although he can’t keep track of the score Dad enjoys it, not wanting to leave. We stay right until the end of extra time, but since it’s still a draw (3-3) I decide it’s time to head back as it’s getting late. By the time we get back to Isis House we’ve been out 5 and a half hours.

He’s a bit confused by the bag of presents we’ve bought back and I remind him that they are his, but the big box of biscuits are for the staff. In the end - just be be sure he doesn’t forget - I take it into their office.